18 Miles!

Forewarned: This post isnt quite as positive as usual! In an effort to be completely honest about the ups and downs of training I dont want to sugarcoat it. I will try not to rant or complain, so read along!
First- gotta do the happy dance! 18, oh yeah, 18, oh yeah, do do dooooo! I ran (ehem... will get to the details later) I was on my feet and MOVING for 18 miles today :)
Now, onto the deets of the run... As you may remember, I am recovering from a bout of ITBS. Its been 2 weeks since I have run anything over 5 miles. And I have spent hours this week doing PT exercises, strength training and stretching. I have come to terms with the fact that this is just the way its gonna be to keep me strong and running; I'm fine with it...
Frankly running 18 today was a gamble! I had refigured my plan several times to make up for last weeks missed run. 18 would be awesome, 12 was a must! My plan was to run/walk the first 3 and really warm up the hips. All went well, had to remind myself to stop and break... But as the run progressed, it was harder and harder to start running again. I hate the 10:1 running plan, it just doesnt work well for me. But- in an effort to be super cautious with the ITB I followed it relatively closely.
I was elated at mile 9 knowing that I was halfway done with no pain. I was overjoyed at 14 knowing that I only had a short 4 miles to go! Here is when it got harder and harder to run after walking. And really really hard to hold that run for a mile at a time. I made great effort to not get frustrated or disappointed here! I reminded myself that training for the last 2 weeks has been sparse/not doing any run over 5 miles for 14 days is bound to take its toll. But still, by 15 miles I am running only .5 mile stints before walking... My legs were tired, but it wasnt just that- whole body fatigue was setting in. I often wondered if I just stopped moving for a moment if I couldnt pull myself together and finish this run strong, but alas I never stopped.
I finally reached my house and walked laps around my driveway. Somehow I knew it would be really bad to just stop moving. My lower back was aching badly. I removed my fuel belt and tied jacket and lo and behold the pain increased. Seriously- another kidney stone bad! Man- did I hurt!!
Stretched out, went inside, and sat. Wow- the joy of sitting :) Hours later- legs are tired, knees are a tad bit achy, but over all I feel fine. The run/walk method I believe helped with the soreness; but I may have a different report tomorrow! Honestly- this was the first run of my training plan that had me questioning my sanity. This is the first run of my training that has me questioning my ability to pull off this marathon. In short, this run kind of stole my confidence!
BUT, training as usual starts back Monday. Building my base back up will help with next weeks 20 miler... Now I just have to forget a little so that conquering next week wont be so scary!